What is the definition of Metres Weapon?

A 'etres weapon' is like a superhero with an armored suit made entirely out of measurement tape. It's so precise, you'd think it was designed by a mathematician with a grudge against the world and a love for squaring off in metric disputes.

---

Here's an edgy example sentence: "The metres weapon of my existential dread was my alarm clock's 10:15 AM buzz, reminding me that life's just a series of precise moments, and I'm the only one who can't ignore them."